Ha ther sugah.  I'm not sure who you are, but you signed my guestbook, so I thought I'd pop on over here.  Your webpage is very pretty.  I read your story and you had a hard life.  We have A LOT of similarities in our lives, but as you can see, we went different ways. :)  I just wanted to say one thing though.  In your story, you say hating your father is a sin and that sin made you miserable, instead of saying your father's abuse made you miserable.  Is that really what you meant?  I hope not, because you had every right to feel that way...

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Hello Tripnotic,

thank you for signing my guestbook and for reading the story of "part" of my life (anyways). I realize you are not too keen of a lot of "preaching" which I don't blame you (after reading some of your "featured" wanker stories), but I do wish to answer your musings about one of my statements in my story "hating your father is a sin and that sin made you miserable,
instead of saying your father's abuse made you miserable.  Is that really what you meant?  I hope not, because you had every right to feel that way..."

Truly, we have the right and freedom to feel however we want, but that does not exclude us from experiencing consequences resulting from the way we "live out our feelings". There is a life principle in place about sowing and reaping, and you can test this by taking a tomato seed and plant it in the soil, that seed will produce after it's own kind (given the right circumstances for growth), a tomato plant. And so it is with our feelings.

My dad "planted seeds of hate" in our lives by his violent behaviour, I allowed these "seeds" to grow into a plant of "hate" in my own life, and who did it affect the most? Me, myself and I. My dad passed way, so he no longer has to experience my hate (I have forgiven him, btw), which would leave the feeling of hate to myself. Now what good does that to me? I was angry at myself, I was beginning to hate myself, *I* was the one miserable because of my own hate. 

We can go through a lifetime of putting the blame on somebody else, but those are externals that never really touch us on the inside. Just as much as others are not responsible for our own happiness, so others are not ultimately responsible for our misery. We choose how we want to feel, and I chose for myself to not succumb to hating myself nor my dad (who really was a hurting man that needed help) nor anyone for that matter. We become what we "plant" inside. Anyways, enough of that..I am sure your ears are ringing already ;)

Thanks again for visiting my place on the web. Your guestbook entry is a real honor, I like people who are 'real' and dare to be themselves.

Grace2u 
 

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* In EVERY thing give thanks: for this is the will of God *
* in Christ Jesus concerning you.   1.Thessalonians 5:18  *
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 Visit my website at http://www.angelfire.com/ab/love4him