<Moroon> Next time some goober asks if you believe in God tell them this: 
"I believe God is sex, and I definitely believe in sex." If they're cute, wink.
 
 
 

<Moroon> i find it funny that the bible refers to its believers as sheep. sheep 
are dumb animals that follow  the crowd without  thinking, even over cliffs. one 
can see the similarities between sheep and the followers of the bible.
 
 
 

<Moroon> "I've gone into thousands of [fortune teller's parlors], and have been 
told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting 
ready to arrest her." - NYC detective
 
 
 

<Moroon> Damn atheists are ruining the world!! starting wars, worshiping satan, 
conspiriring against everyone, murdering ducks, beating kangaroos, mocking 
the bible because of its contradictions with  itself and reality, being evil. we 
should just throw out anyone who doesnt have a close personal relationship 
with god
 
 
 

<Moroon> A theist *KNOWS* God exists the same way a skizophrenic 
*KNOWS* that a talking couch in the White House is plotting their assasination.
 
 
 

<Moroon> if its not it, but sometimes is, except when its not, but you think it is, 
only you arent sure, but you think your sure, then it is, but it might not be, but
it was said it is, even if thats wrong and it might not be, only you would think it, 
but it may be wrong, then you dont know what it is that it is, except you might 
know, but you might not, or you might know and think not, but then you dont
know, and even though its right you dont know
 
 
 

<Moroon> I had a friend who raped my stuffed fish pillow.
 
 
 

<Moroon> "Neurotics build castles in the sky. Psychotics live in those castles.
Psychiatrists collect  the rent."
 
 
 

<Moroon> why do dogs drag their butts on the ground?
<THX-||38> Moroon, because it feels good, try it sometime
 
 
 

<lilmisshappymouth> if sex were fast food, i'd have arches over my bed.
 
 
 

<Az_in_meeting> If you were taught that elves caused rain, every time it rained, 
you’d see the proof of elves.
 
 
 

<Jesse-D> I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, 
self-righteous people around me.
 
 
 

<Jesse-D> i souport publik edekashun
 
 
 
 

<Jesse-D> The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the 
conspiracy is working.
 
 
 

<Jesse-D> I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows 
a lack of confidence
 
 
 

<TheNumber> If god=love, then I god mexican food
<Jest> i god mexican food but i satan the heartburn
 
 
 

<Loomus> i can't imagine socializing with atheists on a group basis. 
I've never done it. But i imagine it would be similar to a mongolian 
cluster fuck.
 
 
 

<Naters> I had pepsi last night..and ya know..it wasn't so bad.
<BoHemyth> The can hit Bo in head.  He's now got a pepsi-dent.
 
 
 

<BoHemyth> Bo doesn't believe in angels, no.  Perhaps,  they live in 
a curly dimension, and eat superstring spaghetti.
 
 
 

<BoHemyth> A paradigms is worth twenty cents.
 
 
 

<BoHemyth> He's mad cause you can't eat a rabbit without getting 
hare in your teeth.
 
 
 

SvenAfk throws a mountain at BoHemyth.

<BoHemyth> Sven throws a mountain,  Bo catches a molehill.

<BoHemyth> Bo notes Sven has evolved.  Now,  he's throwing mountains.  
He used to throw hissy fits.
 
 
 

<BoHemyth> NOw that Hedrin's gone,  he's good for headaches.  (Ex-Hedrin.)
 
 
 

<Adamanteus> There's a shmuck on #cd that's saying that the verse 
that says "insects have 4 legs" is "an expression".

<BoHemyth> It IS an expression.   When you pull two off, they 
have four left, yes.
 
 
 

Black_Bishop summons the power of his Irish and German ancestry 
and gets REALLY drunk
 
 
 

<Socker> 'God is as real as I am,' the old man said.  I was relieved
since I knew that Santa wouldn't lie to me...
 
 
 

<mcat> "Hurt me," said the masochist.  "No," said the sadist.
 
 
 

<mcat> yes, I'm an atheist, and I thank God for that every day.
 
 
 

<virgio> Sinning is breaking the convenant that you have with God, afaik. 
I don't really know if the term was originally applied in any other religion.

<mcat> Sin is when you do something that someone else's religion says is bad.

<infinite_monkey> I'm still in contract talks with God, nothing has been signed.
 
 
 

<Abstruse> THIS CHANNEL ISN'T HERE FOR YOU FUCKING LITTLE KIDS 
TO MAKE FART JOKES
 
 
 

<bigforearms> the good thing about democracy is that a poor person has 
a better chance of being one of those ppl that  controls the politicians than
in most other systems
 
 
 

<^Fah-Q^> Hi, my name is Phil O. Sophe.  I have a handmaiden, her
name is Faith.
 
 
 

<infinite-monkey> We should start saying Jesus is the IPUs stall shoveller.
 
 
 

<HeatDeath> Jesus saves sinners, and redeems them for cash and valuable 
prizes
 
 
 

<Dadeist> ....I just think that it is a crying shame to kill an abortion 
doctor with a bomb or a bullet.....What about Traditional values??????  
Stoning them to death
 
 
 

<Shakabuku> "It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid 
pregnancy by resorting to mathematics, though she is still forbidden
to resort to physics or chemistry".-- H. L. Mencken
 
 
 

<Rev_Mykeru[CSG]> Saying God is good for letting people into 
heaven after they suffer on earth is like thinking a rapist is 
considerate for using a condom
 
 
 

<OL> All languages have the equivalent of "fuck you" -- this 
must be from god
 
 
 

<krackbaby> Atheists just don't appear ominous enough. if we all 
wore some trademark, like dark sunglasses and black berets, with 
an EAC logo, then we would be easier to target.
 
 
 

<Natural409> atheists who find a definition of god they 
can believe become theists
 
 
 

<Cerb_on_Vacation> Lesbians are the only people worth knowing
 
 
 

<SoundAndFury> My mom has small boobs and she produced 
a LOT of milk
 
 
 

<Nuclok> I was eating my rice krispies one morning and distinctly 
heard "snap, crackle, fuck you".
 
 
 

<Godless1> "Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.  
Religion is answers that may never be questioned.."
 
 
 

<Wraith---> Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
 
 
 

<MumiaAbuJamal> so if you can base your ideas on these want ads, 
racial discrimination in mate choice is practiced by a majority of women
in America.  So most women are racially discriminatory
 
 
 

<Zygon> "Honey, my heart belongs to you and you alone .... but 
my pussy is public domain!"
 
 
 

<Cesalie> ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
 
 
 

<TheHermit> The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately 
computed. Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover, the light of the 
Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall 
be sevenfold, as the light of seven days."  Thus Heaven receives
from the Moon as much radiation as we do from the Sun, and  in 
addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does
 from the Sun, or 50 times in all.

<TheHermit> The light we receive from the Moon is one 1/10,000 of
the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that ... The radiation
falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by 
radiation is just equal  to the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven 
loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation.

<TheHermit> Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)^4 = 50, 
where E is the absolute temperature of the earth (-300K), gives H as 798K 
(525C).  The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed ... [However] 
Revelations 21:8 says "But the fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their
 part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten 
brimstone means that its  temperature must be at or below the boiling point, 
444.6C. We have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C.
 
 
 

<Drake|> did you guys see that show dawson's creek yesterday? i 
didn't know they were allowed to say atheist on public television i 
thought it was one of carlin's seven words or something
 
 
 

<chilledbone> i want to be judged not by the color of my text, but
by the content of my characters
 
 
 

<Carvin> No no no, I didnt mean ripping out the groin 
as a form of torment....
 
 
 

<PeaceFrog> If you dont believe in Christ, you are a jew or 
some shit
 
 
 

<infinite-monkey> Pokemon = Pocket Monster, not to be confused 
with Monster In My Pocket.
<penguins> or monster in my pants
 
 
 

<infinite-monkey> Who needs the environment anyway? No one
lives out there except lesbians and treehugging hippies.

<WhiteGelfling> oh oh, we must save the lesbians b4 they go extinct
 
 
 

<the_interloper> eheh I remember the good old days where I'd goto 
a gig and no one left without fresh bloodstains on their clothes. When
you could meet a stranger, headbut him for 15 minutes and leave 
smiling. Now I get kicked out of gigs for spitting on bands that I 
should really be throwing dogshit at
 
 
 

<the_interloper> I need a new god! one that wont try to smite!
one that wont ruin my crops or strike my son with blight! I need 
a new god...
 
 
 

<the_interloper> my momma's so phat her sovergnty was 
recognized by the un until a neo-marxist millitia group staged a
coup and now she is known as the peoples republic of my fat 
momma
 
 
 

<Pinker> Hmm...a pentecoastal pastor in #c/d who used to 
get stoned to pinkfloyd and beatles albums now speaks in
tongues and heals people emphatically.  Transition make 
sense, no?
 
 
 

<Merope> hey just think in a few thousand years maybe 
they will put all the stephen king books together and have
a new holy book...
 
 
 

<krackbaby> satantrance: do you actually believe in satan 
or is that just a nick you've chosen to be stylishly malcontented?
 
 
 

<Beelzebubb> Science tends to provide deeply complicated
answers that are difficult to understand, hard to explain and 
can  take years to learn in detail. Saying "God did it" to 
someone with little knowledge of science explains everything
from dishwashers  to supernovae. -- A. Barnett
 
 
 

<MumiaAbuJamal> God is in hiding, since he is wanted in 
connection with the drowning deaths of 99.9% of the Earth's 
population God has a police record

<Greg_J> Not to mention impregnating an underage girl and
skipping town

<MumiaAbuJamal> God is a suspected arsonist, connected with the 
burning of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah,as well as the 
subsequent suspicious disappearance of Lot's wife, one of the
few survivors of that holocaust.   May be disguised as a 65-year-old 
white male with long white hair and white beard.  Often wears 
flowing robes and sandals.  Wanted in connection with indecent 
exposure, for revealing his back parts to Moses.
 
 
 

<goliath_cobalt> Never judge a man until you have walked a 
mile in his shoes, because by then, you're a mile away, 
you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever the hell 
you want to about him.
 
 
 

<Sastra> fortunately, there was a halfway decent debate on 
determinism and free will. Normally, whenever I try to show a 
friend or relative how great #atheism is, we come in and ppl 
are arguing over episodes of Gilligan's Island, or how often 
they go to the bathroom
 
 
 

<Sastra> even masochists don't like to get their fingers slammed
unexpectedly in a car door ;)
 
 
 

<Sastra> Atheists do not doubt *God* -- they doubt other people. 
That is all we are dealing with -- people who claim to speak for God.
 
 
 

<JJA> "We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards
could produce the Complete Works of Shakespeare; now, thanks
to the Internet, we know this is not true." - Robert Wilensky,  
University of California
 
 
 

<JJA> Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder...
 
 
 

<Ovid> this country *was* founded on christian values.
 
 
 

<Elaine_21> Evil athieist conspiracey ..... we eat your children and pets
 
 
 

<VirginMary> there wouldnt be a race issue if no one were a racist
 
 
 

infinite-monkey is anti-human, pro-insect, fungi-indifferent.
 
 
 

<Lillianna> Alligators have brain waves too.  Should we stop
all alligator abortions?
 
 
 

<Sxem> im a militant atheist, i wanna kill all theists and pass 
out their stuff to the surviving atheists so we can all be rich and happy
 
 
 

HighKaramba doesn't give a flying fuck about the gentiles sympathy
 
 
 

<Cerberus^^^> Steps in becoming a Christian: 1. Believe in God 2. 
Repeat step one

<FalkonnX> dont forget to tithe

<FalkonnX> we need new seat cushions for the prayer bus
 
 
 

<potoi> in america its just as illegal for a billionare to sleep in
the streets as it is for a homeless man
 
 
 
 

<syntax_even_deeper> "What a catholic does, is his own business. 
What a jew does, it reflects on all the jewish people" .  that is valid 
for atheists
 
 
 

<syntax_even_deeper> i wish some people would STOP 
embarassing the whole atheist nation
 
 
 

<wonton> Halley Berry is only a star do to her pop

<STuPiDGiRL> her pop?

<wonton> Chuck Berry

<wonton> her dad was a famous singer and fecaphile
 
 
 

<Danse_des_Mortes> people forget we are made of the same
lego bricks as rocks, it is just that rocks have had longer to 
evolve hence they have reached a higher plain that we lack 
understanding of (but they are watching us!)
 
 
 

<vcat> A vagina before sex looks like a perfect little flower 
(the ones I've seen, mind you), and after sex, they look like
a bulldog after having stuck its nose in mayonaise.
 
 
 

<Zygon> A heard a christian say that homsexuals are pesecuting
him for wanting to get married ....
 
 
 

<DonQuay> I tried jesus for just 30 days, at 15 minutes per day, 
and look at my abs...
 
 
 

<Hominid> The Morons, also known as the Church of Jebus 
Cripes of Later-Day Aints.